Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
