the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
