My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize