Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So apparently I’m into choking now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
