Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
