i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
