I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
