I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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