I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
