you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
