those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
