If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i think i just lost a toe
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
