I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
