i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize