sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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