You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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