Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
