i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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