Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
