Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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