You really coming over, don't trick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
