Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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