I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
