a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's get the cat blown out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
