"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
