I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
