You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
