No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
