I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
