Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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