if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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