Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize