Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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