i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
