Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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