he thought i was a dude.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
