its not stalking. its research.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
