State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
