the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
