lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
