do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
