This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
