I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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