I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
