Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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