all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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