I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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