party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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