apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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