No awkward lesbian experiences without me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
