I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
