TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
