My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
