I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
