Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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