We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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