just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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