...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize