Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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