I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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