evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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