Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
