This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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