Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
