Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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