Already got asked if we're dating
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
