It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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