you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
