paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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