Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
