his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
