Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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