Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
