Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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