How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
